iPhone4S Comments on the Meaning of Life

Steve Jobs died last week, and his death has led many people in his age group to reflect on the meaning and brevity of life. As it happens, one can scarcely find more thoughtful or more poignant reflections of that nature than the ones Jobs himself provided in his "Stanford Commencement Address" (2005). (Full text here.)

Coincidentally, the iPhone4S--perhaps the last Apple product to be developed by Jobs--has a Voice Assistant (a female named Siri) who provides a more light-hearted take on the meaning of life. This brief piece by John Blackstone of CBS Evening News concludes with the Siri's answer to life's most important question (about 1 minute, 30 seconds into the piece):

"Try and be nice to people. Avoid eating fat. Read a good book every now and then."

It is good advice, but as a retired English Professor, I can't get the voice of William Strunk out of my brain:

Omit Needless Words
Vigorous writing is concise.
A sentence should contain no unnecessary words,
a paragraph no unnecessary sentences,
for the same reason that a drawing should have no unnecessary lines
and a machine no unnecessary parts.
This requires not that the writer make all his sentences short,
or that he avoid all detail and treat his subjects only in outline,
but that every word tell.

Is "Try and be nice to people" meaningfully different than the more pithy and direct, "Be nice"? And why dither about reading a good book "every now and then"? Let's make that "Read good books."

Finally, there is "Avoid eating fat." I think someone at Apple probably had a first draft with much better advice: "Don't get fat!" Then the corporate bigwigs panicked at the thought of offending all the fat people with iPhone3's. So the good advice was twisted into something harmless and almost meaningless. Carbohydrate, fat, sugar, and protein are all essential in a balanced diet. As a vegetarian, I accept the prohibition--"Don't eat meat"--but I'd be a fool to attempt something so universal as "Don't eat fat" or "Don't eat protein." It is impossible to avoid eating fat. . . . Besides I have just switched from drinking 2% milk to whole milk; it tastes so much better!

But even my revision--"Don't get fat"--has problems. Who is to define getting fat? Should everyone strive to be as lean as a cyclist at the end of the Tour de France? Here is a revealing photo of Andy Schleck, one of the best cyclist among the current crop of TDF competitors:

I think he looks great--but some might consider him a bit scrawny--chacun à son goût!

In any event one need not bit as skinny as a Tour de France cyclist. No, I think the final revision to the iPhone's comments on the meaning of life should be: "Be nice. Stay fit. And read good books." Good words to live by.