I was recently sorting through some of my old teaching files and came across this little jeux d'esprit that I created as a way of mocking the pretentions of academic writing. I am posting it on my blog page for whatever amusement it may give to other suffering English majors and scholars.
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Tabular Development of Useless Mediocre Bombast
DUMB makes it possible for even the most mediocre student or professor to write critical nonsense that sounds quite convincingly intellectual. In some quarters it is felt that the DUMB system is routinely used by those who publish in scholarly journals.
To write DUMB prose you simply string together random four-digit numbers and then read off the DUMBly generated sentence from Tables A, B, C, and D below. For example, 2743 corresponds to the sentence: "On the other hand, any contingent generic element necessitates both anthropological and metaphoric considerations of the individualistic or idiosyncratic symbols." More sophisticated prose stylists can combine the elements in the order BACD, DBCA, or DABC. Some additional punctuation may be required in these advanced configurations.
Table A
1. In particular,
2. On the other hand,
3. However,
4. Similarly,
5. As a resulting implication,
6. In this regard,
7. Based on ethnocentric values,
8. For example,
9. Thus,
0. In respect to specific desiderata,
1. In particular,
2. On the other hand,
3. However,
4. Similarly,
5. As a resulting implication,
6. In this regard,
7. Based on ethnocentric values,
8. For example,
9. Thus,
0. In respect to specific desiderata,
Table B
1. a large portion of expressive verbal communication
2. a semiotic system of literary artifacts
3. the characterization of archetypal patterns
4. the conception of metatheoretical critical constructs
5. the deconstructing of seminal verbal acts
6. the insight informed by depth psychology
7. any contingent generic element
8. the individuation of structuralist reservations
9. the independent fictive principle
0. a primary interrelationship between various theories and methods of interpretation
1. a large portion of expressive verbal communication
2. a semiotic system of literary artifacts
3. the characterization of archetypal patterns
4. the conception of metatheoretical critical constructs
5. the deconstructing of seminal verbal acts
6. the insight informed by depth psychology
7. any contingent generic element
8. the individuation of structuralist reservations
9. the independent fictive principle
0. a primary interrelationship between various theories and methods of interpretation
Table C
1. must utilize and be specifically interwoven with
2. augments the imaginative aura and minimizes the linguistic deconstruction of
3. underscores the premises that underlie
4. necessitates both anthropological and metamorphic considerations of
5. requires dual foci for scrutinizing
6. is neither mimical to nor inconsistent with
7. embodies interesting methodologies for
8. recognizes the recurrent thematic concerns and formal devices that significantly link
9. exemplifies the psychodynamics of
0. adds ritualistic overtones empathetic to
1. must utilize and be specifically interwoven with
2. augments the imaginative aura and minimizes the linguistic deconstruction of
3. underscores the premises that underlie
4. necessitates both anthropological and metamorphic considerations of
5. requires dual foci for scrutinizing
6. is neither mimical to nor inconsistent with
7. embodies interesting methodologies for
8. recognizes the recurrent thematic concerns and formal devices that significantly link
9. exemplifies the psychodynamics of
0. adds ritualistic overtones empathetic to
Table D
1. the dystopian vision.
2. the apprehension of reality.
3. the individualistic or idiosyncratic symbols.
4. the philosophic concern about post-modern discoveries.
5. the prevailing orthodoxy.
6. the evolution of iconographic interests in discrete literary periods.
7. the philosophy of humanistic culture.
8. the cosmos/self relationship.
9. any unique verbal or literary evidence.
0. the striving of humanity for self-actualization.
1. the dystopian vision.
2. the apprehension of reality.
3. the individualistic or idiosyncratic symbols.
4. the philosophic concern about post-modern discoveries.
5. the prevailing orthodoxy.
6. the evolution of iconographic interests in discrete literary periods.
7. the philosophy of humanistic culture.
8. the cosmos/self relationship.
9. any unique verbal or literary evidence.
0. the striving of humanity for self-actualization.
Based on Honeywell's Buzz-Phrase Generator for Writing Simplified Integrated Modular Prose (SIMP). I first found SIMP in Scientific American, but I no longer have the reference details. Here is a link to another blogger who discusses this buzz-word generator:
http://www.copywriting-on-demand.com/buzzword-generator.htm
http://www.copywriting-on-demand.com/buzzword-generator.htm
